Let’s be honest, at times, being a parent to a child with Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder can be a bit of a rollercoaster. You love your child, and you want to create an empowering home and give your child the world… but sometimes being late again, or their room being a mess, or another fight and meltdown over homework… can push your buttons and it can feel like a lonely road.

But don't worry; we've got your back. In this blog, we're going to dive into some common ADHD behaviors, chat about the awesome strengths these kids bring to the table and share some fantastic strategies to make life a little smoother. You're not alone in this adventure!

Understanding Behaviours in ADHD

The brains of children with ADHD (well, and adults with ADHD too) are naturally chronically under stimulated. This means that sometimes, to get to a stimulation level where they can perform their best, they exhibit stimulation seeking behaviours.

What does this look like? Sometimes it’s making their own fun – which, spoiler, probably isn’t your idea of fun! It can look like picking fights (for the stimulation that comes from that emotional arousal), playing video games, lots of physical activity, and in older children… procrastination… until the stress of the deadline finally kicks them into gear.

A delicate balance

However, it's essential to note that there's a delicate balance here. Sometimes, in the hunt for stimulation they may unintentionally over-shoot leading to overstimulation and now we’ve got different challenges.

So, the key question is whether the behavior is driven by a need for stimulation to function better, or if they've gone past that point and are struggling to control their actions due to overstimulation.

If that sounds tricky, it’s because it is. But keeping this idea in mind, and with lots of practice and attunement you’ll find that you can begin making more educated guesses about the cause, and therefore about some solutions

Understanding Attention in ADHD

There is a really common misunderstanding out there that children with ADHD can’t focus. People hear “attention-deficit” and think that means that if their child can pay attention to some things but not others, then they must not have ADHD because sometimes they can focus (sometimes)!

ADHD is, in fact, a condition of disordered attention. You might find that it is hard for your child to pay attention to things they find boring (under-stimulating), can have trouble switching tasks, and can really focus deeply on something they find really interesting. That deep focus is termed hyperfocus, and can be seen as a strength of ADHD.

Leveraging ADHD Strengths:

1. Creativity:

Guess what? Many kids with ADHD are bursting with creativity. Encourage them to explore art, writing, or imaginative play to let their creative juices flow.

2. Hyperfocus as a Superpower:

Hyperfocus isn't just a quirk; it's a superpower! It’s helps neurodivergent folks to get a lot of work done in a short time and dedicate all of their focus to a given task. Help your child find interests where they can put this deep focus to good use, whether it's in school, hobbies, or personal projects.

3. Resilience

ADHD, with its unique set of challenges and strengths, has a way of shaping resilience in those who live with it. Here's how:

Adaptability: Children and adults with ADHD often encounter situations that require them to adapt quickly. Whether it's finding new ways to focus on tasks or coping with unexpected changes, they become adept at thinking on their feet. This adaptability can serve them well in a world that's constantly changing.
Problem-Solving Skills: ADHD individuals often face academic and organizational challenges. To overcome these hurdles, they develop creative problem-solving skills. This ability to think outside the box and find unconventional solutions can be a significant asset in their personal and professional lives.
Perseverance: Living with ADHD can be frustrating at times, especially when tasks take longer to complete or when they face setbacks. However, this frustration often leads to a sense of determination and perseverance. They learn that success may require more effort, but it's achievable.
Empathy and Compassion: Many individuals with ADHD have a heightened sense of empathy because they understand what it's like to face challenges. This empathy can foster strong interpersonal relationships and a deep sense of compassion for others.
Innovation: The unconventional thinking often associated with ADHD can be a wellspring of creativity and innovation. It enables them to approach problems and projects from unique angles, often leading to novel and groundbreaking ideas.

In essence, ADHD individuals develop a kind of resilience that equips them to face life's challenges with courage and creativity. While the journey may be filled with ups and downs, it fosters a strength of character that can serve them well throughout their lives.

Strategies to empower your child with ADHD

The ‘Just Right Challenge”

How can you support your child with ADHD? Something that can be helpful is to keep in mind the idea of a “just-right challenge” (this is one of the things that makes video games so attractive to ADHD minds).

Tailoring the challenge so that it hits that sweet spot between too easy (boring, won’t hold their attention), just-right (a rewarding challenge like a videogame), and too hard (overstimulating and making them feel “stupid”) can be very helpful.

Healthy Sources of Stimulation

Another strategy is to help your child seek stimulation in healthy ways. To understand this we need to spend a quick minute talking about Dopamine. Dopamine is an important chemical in the brain that helps with attention, motivation, rewards, and how our brain works.Scientists believe that problems with dopamine in certain parts of the brain contribute to ADHD symptoms. Low levels or impacts of dopamine mean that under-stimulation can be a real challenge for kids with ADHD and can help to explain many of the stimulation (or dopamine) seeking behaviours that we see.

Some healthy examples of supporting stimulation (or dopamine) seeking include art, playing an instrument, going for a walk, or playing with a pet. For more ideas, strategies, and a guided exercise to create your child’s very own dopamine menu check out our blog post about dopamine!

Summing it up: Embracing strengths while navigating challenges

Supporting a child with ADHD is indeed a journey filled with ups and downs. While we've discussed their remarkable strengths and strategies to empower them, it's essential to acknowledge that challenges will persist. ADHD can be tough, both for your child and for you as a parent.

But here's the reality: in the midst of these challenges lie opportunities for growth and resilience. Your child's unique way of experiencing the world can lead to a deep understanding of themselves and a capacity to navigate life's twists and turns with creativity and determination.

As you embrace their strengths and tackle their challenges head-on, you'll be providing them with invaluable tools for their future. Remember, it's not about perfection; it's about progress. So, stay patient, stay resilient, and keep working together. You've got this, and your child is stronger than you might think.

Every parent, child, and family are different. If you want some custom strategies, we can help!

I gratefully acknowledge the contribution of Student OT Naomi Stager in this writing

Shannon Rolph is a pediatric Occupational Therapist and a mom to 3 (beautiful, wild, energetic) kids. She wholeheartedly believes 2 things are true: kids are amazing, and parenting can be hard. Shannon shares helpful information and practical strategies with parents and families to support them in finding more ease and joy in their parenting journeys.

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