Your child has ADHD, they might struggle to focus in the classroom -- but they can play video games for hours! Screentime is a constant fight. They ask about when they can start, they ask for more time, and when their time is up (or they have to share with someone)… well you know how it goes…

How can you get out of this cycle? How can you support your child in playing the games they love, but in a way that doesn’t cause an epic meltdown when it’s time to turn the games off?

We’ll dig into all of that here.

Building Your Understanding: Video Games, ADHD, and the Science behind it

Let’s start by building our own understanding of why your child gets so engrossed in video games. The brains of children with ADHD are chronically under-stimulated. For neurobiological reasons, their brains really just don’t work as well when they are bored. This means that children with ADHD often seek out highly stimulating activities.

Video games are really good at this! Partly because of all the colours, the sounds, the inter-related pieces, and the story plot. These games are designed by massive teams of people, who trained their whole lives to be the best in the business; sound designers, graphic artists, animators, story writers, countless engineers, and even psychologists… all on a mission to maximize user design and user experience. In other words, to maximize engagement and dopamine.

Video Games, ADHD, and Dopamine

We have to talk about dopamine. Dopamine is commonly known as the “reward” chemical. Did you also know that neuroscientists tell us dopamine is also the pursuit chemical? What does that mean?

You may already know that dopamine is released when you achieve something. Your brain rewards you for a job well done; you get a dopamine hit when you complete something, check the task off your list, or get a sticker as a reward. We often hear this talked about as a ‘dopamine hit.’

Did you know that your brain also rewards you with dopamine when you are on the path towards your goal? This is why dopamine is also called the pursuit chemical, because it is not only released when you complete a goal, it is also released as you pursue the goal!

Dopamine is also a hugely important neurotransmitter to understand for ADHD. It’s a chemical in the brain that helps with attention, motivation, rewards, and how our executive function system works. Scientists believe that problems with dopamine in certain parts of the brain contribute to ADHD symptoms. Specifically, they think that there may be less dopamine or issues with how dopamine works, resulting in brains that are needing more dopamine (or, that is less stimulated) than a neurotypical brain.

So for a child whose brain is chronically under-stimulated, video games are a series of completion dopamine hits – filling your child’s need for dopamine. And they are also a great example of long time-on-task in pursuit of a goal – which fills your child’s stimulation cup even more!

When you think about it, video games also contain tiny rewards at almost every step of the way (think pac-man gobbling up dots, or collecting coins and items – these create small rewards for sub-goals) which promote continued engagement - or more dopamine.

More than just great design, video games also hit the just-right-challenge

A really important piece is that video games tap into the just-right-challenge. If they were too hard, kids would get too frustrated and give up. Too easy? Kids would get bored and walk away.

The game designers specifically break down the learning curve into bite-sized pieces, typically teaching skills in play-through tutorials -- and introducing and practicing new mechanics as the levels progress. One level and stage at a time; video games create a need for repetition because if you don’t pass the just-right-challenge in that level, you don’t move on.

This just-right-challenge is a real sweet spot when it comes to attention and engagement. It supports kids (and adults!) getting into a state of extremely focused attention, known in the ADHD community as ‘hyperfocus.’

Why is it so hard to stop at the end of screen-time?

Hyperfocus is a catch-22. If you have not experienced it yourself, you can think of it like the concept of “flow”, or what athletes call being in “the zone”, and people working in the tech sector call “deep work”. When in hyperfocus your child can really dedicate their whole attention to one thing.

A downside of hyperfocus though, is that it can be uncomfortable to be shaken out of it! People in the ADHD community report that it can be uncomfortable, jarring, and sometimes almost painful to have their hyperfocus disrupted! This could be a reason why it’s so hard to end screen time, or why it’s so hard to put the game down to let someone else take a turn.

It is also important to note, that back in the day, many video games had a pause screen with a save option. Did you know that many of them don’t have that anymore? Many modern games use a “save point” now. This is a brilliant and intentional strategy on the part of the developers, because it means that you can’t just save whenever you want; increasing play time because you have to keep playing to get to the next “save point” in order for the game to record your progress… otherwise next time you start all the way back at the last “save point”.

When you show up to enforce the end of screentime, your child panics! They were probably hyperfocusing – and were completely time-blind – and genuinely if they stop right now they will lose all their progress from this session. Your child probably doesn’t have the capacity to explain that to you – especially in the heat of the moment as they panic and scramble to get to the next save point! The fact of the matter is, they probably don’t even know that you don’t know… because your little one probably isn’t familiar with the save mechanics of “old-school” video games!

How can you help your video game loving ADHD child?

Opportunities of hyperfocus can be almost like a meditative reset. A very dynamic meditation for sure, but it still holds focus for an extended period of time and lets everything else slip away – a reset that fast minds can really benefit from.

Remember: you’re on the same team

Many organizations exists, like the one founded by Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia, MD. Dr. K’s initiative Healthy Gamer explores how video games can be part of a healthy lifestyle, and highlights that it can be important to develop an alliance with your child!

Often with conflict around video games it can feel like it’s you versus your child. Instead, we want to emphasize that you and your child are on the same team and working towards the same thing - finding a way to make video games enjoyable for everyone.

What about the save point?

That’s all well and good, but how can you support the save point problem, and still have boundaries around screen time? Talk to your child about save points. Give your child a heads-up that you’re want to design a new system and talk to them about it. Work together on this - they’re likely to have some good insight!

Here are some practical ideas to try:

You could try incorporating a quick check-in a few minutes before the end of video game time. This could be jarring and uncomfortable because it will interrupt their hyperfocus, pull them out of their trance, and knock them off their roll – so be ready for some tone and attitude. Be curious though! What level are they at? Where’s the next save point? Is five minutes enough?

You could also try having a set bank of “flex minutes” for a week. During your check-in, you could ask them if they think five minutes is enough, remind them of how many flex minutes they have remaining this week, and ask if they want to use some of them this time. They might be super close and are getting good at this level… they just need a little more time. Or they might say that this level is really hard still, that they are far away, and that they want to save their flex minutes till next time so they can really make the next save point or beat the level tomorrow.

Curiosity, Kindness, and Generosity for the win

As you try these new things, expect that it won’t always go perfectly. When they miss the mark, acknowledge their disappointment, validate the fact that they put in all that work and didn’t get to the save point and that’s frustrating. Praise them for their strong work! Maybe redirect to another source of dopamine (like a snack, listening to a playlist, or maybe something from their dopamine menu!) – which might just be the reward their brain needs to complete that pursuit cycle!

With gratitude, I acknowledge the contribution of Student OT Naomi Stager in creating this blog

Shannon Rolph is a pediatric Occupational Therapist and a mom to 3 (beautiful, wild, energetic) kids. She wholeheartedly believes 2 things are true: kids are amazing, and parenting can be hard. Shannon shares helpful information and practical strategies with parents and families to support them in finding more ease and joy in their parenting journeys.

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